- He has a need to control others and always wants to be in charge.
- He is drawn to power careers, such as politician, manager, military, police, etc.
- He is tenacious and determined to have things his way. “My way or the highway.”
- He can be a bully and gets impatient with lack of empathy for other’s weaknesses.
- He thinks he “owns” his woman: she should dress, do, be, and say whatever he says.
Of all the Man-imal types, the Pit Bull has the potential to show two entirely different sides. On the one hand, he can be the most loyal and protective for those he loves. He can also inspire great respect and therefore be an excellent leader. But on the other hand, he can be the most dangerous, because if the Pit Bull is emotionally immature he can actually believe he “owns” his woman. He sees her as a possession, not a person. He does not believe she has a right to her own feelings, opinions, and goals, therefore he believes it is his right to tell her what to do, where she can go, what to wear, and what to say. If she “disobeys” him, he believes he has the right to punish her. Some Middle Eastern cultures support this controlling attitude in men.
Think of Ike Turner (former husband of Tina Turner, who reportedly controlled and beat her). Another example is the rich, handsome and charming husband in the movie “Sleeping With The Enemy.” Beneath his charming exterior, his passion manifests in an abusive need for complete control of her. She finally escapes by faking her own drowning.
It can be especially dangerous when a woman tries to leave or divorce one of these emotionally immature Pit Bulls, because he still believes he owns her. Sometimes he will take the position: “if I can’t have her, then no one can.” This is when a woman can find it necessary to file restraining orders to keep him away. But from his self-centered perspective he cannot see that she has a right to separate from him. In fact, he may feel that she has publicly humiliated him by pulling away, and therefore she deserves to be punished so that he can save face. He hasn’t developed the mature quality of empathy to enable him to see anything from her perspective.
So why would a woman choose a man with this nature? Initially, it may seem romantic and loving to have a man provide everything. She may see him as a strong protector. She may even misinterpret his controlling ways as a sign of his love for her, because HE believes it is love. When he tells her what to wear, or say, or do, he thinks he is taking care of her – and initially she may believe it’s true. But, it is an illusion of safety, and ultimately it is a trap which will get tighter and tighter. Sometimes a Pit Bull will set restrictions, such as curfews or dress codes, believing that the woman is not his equal and therefore does not have a right to manage her own life. Or, in the name of taking care of her, he may insist on controlling all the finances. Eventually, when she wants to make a decision for herself, he will criticize or ridicule her, or even physically hurt her. Think of how some men treat women in the Middle East.
On the other hand, an emotionally MATURE Pit Bull can be a great leader. Because he has developed the ability to empathize with people, he can relate to their wants and needs. He employs his need to control by motivating others through providing for their wants and needs. For example, a company manager may offer bonuses or promotions. A politician may promise reduced taxes or more freedoms. Therefore, people may choose to follow his leadership. As long as Pit Bull leaders stay connected with their people, they can foster a positive environment of loyal followers. However, if the Pit Bull loses his connection to others (the ability to empathize and relate), his need to control can become oppressive and foster resentment.
The same is true between a man and a woman. If he is emotionally mature, he will be able to listen to her and relate to her wants and needs. Because he understands her, he will find ways to fulfill her desires, and she will allow him to lead. This is especially true for women who have a dependent nature and want to have a man in charge. For these women it is important to find a man with some Pit Bull aspects – AND emotional maturity.
However, a woman who is strongly independent should not choose a Pit Bull as a partner, because her need for independence will surface and cause friction, even if her desires are being met!
To determine the emotional maturity of a man, pay close attention to how well he listens to your feelings. If he discounts or ignores what you say, then beware. For example, if you say you are uncomfortable with how fast he his driving, and he responds by saying, “don’t worry I’m a good driver” then he is not listening to your feelings. Or if he insists that you will like a new food, and when you tell him you don’t even want to try it, then he ridicules you, then he is ignoring your right to choose for yourself. (Big hint: Beware any man who ridicules you in any way. He is trying to control you!)
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To see pictures of what this Man-imal type and his lifestyle might look like, click HERE to view our Pit Bull Pinterest Board.