The Gorilla
His focus is Relationships
  • He is accepting and non-critical, therefore others around him feel good about themselves.
  • Children are comfortable around him. His kids (and the neighborhood kids?) think he’s their buddy.
  • He is very tactile and cuddly. He is comfortable with holding hands or other PDAs (public displays of affection).
  • He is very masculine and earthy, a natural man’s man. He is comfortable with who he is.
  • He works with his hands, may be blue collar: mechanic, cowboy, farmer, construction, etc.

When you hear someone say, “He’s such a sweetheart,” they are probably talking about a Gorilla. They are easy-going, loving and accepting of the people around them. Gorillas connect with other people. They are observant of others’ feelings and therefore wouldn’t make negative comments. Although they might see a “flaw” in their woman, they accept her as she is, and love her anyway—without mentioning it to her.

The central characteristic of Gorillas is they are very tactile and like to cuddle and touch. You are seeing “Gorilla action” when you see a man carrying a child on one shoulder while using the other hand to hold hands with his woman. Think Patrick Dempsey and Howie Long.

Children instantly recognize Gorillas, and will go to them readily, because they feel safe and secure. When you look across a crowd at the beach or park, if you see children crawling across the lap of a man, and he’s totally comfortable with it, you can almost guarantee he’s a Gorilla.

In general, Gorillas are not particularly verbal, more the strong and silent type. They are not prone to talking about feelings, but will be the first one to put an arm around someone who is suffering. Of The Five Love Languages [i], a Gorilla uses “touch” to comfort and connect. That’s one reason Gorillas make such great lovers.

In bed, Gorillas listen to a woman and they will remember what she likes. For example, they notice when her breathing changes and they will remember what they did to cause that change. They want her to have a good time and they will see to it that she achieves orgasm before they do—at least once, or twice! A Wolf may do the same thing, but it’s just to be sure she will be available the next time he calls. A Wolf is focused on what he can get. But a Gorilla is focused on what he is giving. He does it because it makes him happy to see her happy.

In most Nora Roberts romance novels the man is a Gorilla or has very strong Gorilla tendencies.

Gorillas have emotionally grown beyond the toddler stage of “me, me, me” and been able to mature into being sharing and considerate of others. They are not self-focused or narcissistic. It is this emotional maturity that is necessary for a truly loving relationship. So, no matter what Man-imal type is your favorite, look for a good degree of Gorilla emotional maturity so that your man can connect with you and together you can build a satisfying future.

For ambitious women, the downside of a Gorilla might be that he is comfortable with how things are. In general, Gorillas have little ambition beyond being comfortable and secure. They are happy with a simple life of backyard barbeques, weekend fishing trips, or Sunday football. They don’t feel the drive to get a bigger house or fancy car just to impress the neighbors. And they really don’t see any reason to stress themselves just to buy new furniture or a fancy suit. They are truly comfortable with themselves as they are. This can drive ambitious women crazy!

[i] Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages, Northfield Publishing, 1992.

This material is copyrighted and cannot be used or reproduced without the author’s written permission.

Chat with Angeline

To see pictures of this Man-imal type and what his lifestyle might look like, click HERE to view our Gorilla Pinterest Board.

Take The Gorilla Quiz