Unfortunately, sexual chemistry will lie to you. It’s like sugar. You look at that piece of cake while sugar whispers to you, “One little bite doesn’t count,” “Well, two won’t matter,” “You’ve been good all day, so you deserve this,” and “You can do extra treadmill time tomorrow.” And, before you know it, you eat the whole piece – and lick the last of the frosting off your plate. You just got sold down the river by a lying glob of sugar!
Did you know that studies have been done where they inject rats with cocaine until the rats become addicted? Then they introduce the rats to sugar and give them time to develop a taste for it. Finally, they give the rats a choice – sugar or cocaine – and the rats choose the sugar! Sugar is more addictive than cocaine! And yet, for a 100 years society has said sugar ok. Now you can even buy organic sugar!
Well, I’m here to tell you, you can’t trust what society says. And if your temptation is not sugar, then just substitute alcohol, or sexy shoes, or whatever-it-is that dumps that yummy dopamine into your system.
It feels SO good – and if you are not the master of your physical/emotional drives, those drives will cause you to break your diet, break your budget, and break your commitments, one little lie at a time.
Sexual chemistry can do the same thing! It is so yummy and juicy, but if you allow its hooks into you too early in a relationship, it can take over. It can blind you to red flags. It will whisper to you, “This is love,” “This is the real thing,” and “This is the one.” Then, a short while later (after you have opened yourself to physical and emotional intimacy) you bump into reality, and you start wondering if you made a mistake. It’s just like the remorse you feel after you eat the cake, or buy that 5th pair of sexy shoes.
So, let me tell you what sexual chemistry really is – it’s the body’s physical drive to perpetuate the species. Yep, it’s simply that old urge to breed. And men feel it even stronger than you do! It just feels so delicious to press your breasts against his chest, and your hips just ache to snuggle up to his. I swear it’s like they have a mind of their own!
The sexual chemistry ride is kind of like a car rolling downhill. It’s your job to control the speed so that the ride can be enjoyable and you have a safe landing at the bottom, rather than an adrenaline filled joy ride that ends in a crash! Patti Stanger of the Millionaire Matchmaker says, “Absolutely no sex until after you’ve had that important relationship discussion and both make a commitment to monogamy.” And, although the press scoffs, many cultures and religions practice celibacy until marriage….with a much lower divorce rate!
So, develop your mastery over sexual chemistry! Don’t fall for its seductive lies. A key indicator of emotional maturity is the ability to delay gratification. So, take your time and build a solid relationship first. Get to know him, be curious about what makes him tick. Have patience with him and yourself as you build a bridge of trust. Then, when it’s both physically and emotionally safe, you can take some risks and allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to intimacy.
I love to hear from you, so please share your thoughts and comments below!