When comparing masculine vs feminine energies, some would say that a woman’s natural style is to nurture and support, while a man’s is to provide and protect.
I was thinking about this the other day, and realized that in our westernized culture, we primarily look to men to provide money. To a large extent, our society measures a man’s value by his ability to provide money. But, when you look at the different types of Man-imals, only the Shark is focused on Financial Success. Money is the “gift” he provides to his woman and family. And for many women, it is very important to have an ambitious man as their bread winner.
But not every woman places a high priority on money. As I thought about it, I realized that each of the other Man-imals also has a unique gift to provide.
For example, think of the Owl, who is focused on Cerebral Activities. I can imagine he would bring intellectual discussion to the dinner table. He would be a great one to toss back-and-forth ideas and concepts. An Owl could bring a new and broader perspective to a woman’s life. For some women, this sharing of deep thoughts could be much more valuable than a big paycheck.
In my case, my husband is primarily a Panther, focused on Artistic Expression. He has very little Shark in his nature, but since I am personally quite ambitious, I don’t feel a need to have him provide the majority of our income. Instead, I find the “gift” he brings to our marriage is dramatically more important to me than money. With my background in Interior Design, his aesthetic sense is absolutely necessary for me. He literally makes my life beautiful!
For example, I happen to love almost anything French, including French-style furniture. Recently, I found a pair of antique French night stands, which desperately needed to be refinished. Although Dixon doesn’t care for their curvy feminine lines, he spent many days stripping and refinishing them to match our other bedroom furniture. I cannot imagine another man doing this for me! You might think if I had lots of money I could have simply paid someone to refinish them for me. And you’re right. But I wouldn’t feel loved when I look at them, as I do now. His “gift” is more valuable than having the money to pay someone else.
My eldest daughter, Kitty, is married to a Panda. Since she happens to be fairly serious, Mark’s playful nature is perfect for her and her children. He provides lots of fun in their life by taking them on camping trips, playing board games, going on family bike rides, joining in video game competitions, and setting up the kid’s train set under the Christmas tree every year. Kitty, on the other hand, focuses on helping the children with their homework, and keeping their home organized. Together they form a balanced team, which provides stability in their home. Their mutual appreciation for each other’s basic nature creates satisfaction in their marriage.
When you become aware of your man’s basic nature, and the gifts he inherently brings to your relationship, you can give him support through your feminine energy, by appreciating him. As you probably know, most men are a mix of different Man-imal Types. It would be rare to find a man who has only one type in his basic nature. For example, Mark is primarily a Panda, but he is also a hard-working and ambitious man. And my husband, Dixon, while primarily an artistic Panther, also has a strong streak of Lion, due to his spiritual side.
My second daughter, Jillena is married to a Shark, with lots of loving Gorilla in his nature. Scott is the perfect husband for her, because she has a high value for ambition. Although she loves my husband (her step-father), Dixon’s type would not be a good match for her, because he has a low focus on financial gain. And, on the other hand, although I adore my son-in-law Scott, his type would not be a good match for me, because he has very little appreciation for the aesthetics of life, which are so important to me.
When the The Gorilla Quiz you will learn what qualities you really value in a man; what is most important for you. You will no longer need to accept society’s perspective that money is the primary contribution a man makes to a relationship. Instead you can appreciate the gifts he brings. Of course, every couple needs to form a team in which all their needs are provided. For example, if neither one provides enough income to pay the rent, the team is dysfunctional.
Learning to recognize gifts and giving appreciation are important ways you can build happier relationships. What gifts can you recognize in the men in your life? Do you give feminine support to these men by showing your appreciation?
Please share your thoughts and comments below!